


Limits

by ChildOfTheDragon



Series: For Your Entertainment [1]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda, Hamilton - Miranda (Broadway Cast) RPF
Genre: Age Difference, Alex needs a hug, Barely Legal Alexander, Charles Lee is still a jerk, Dom/sub, I'm Sorry Lin-Manuel Miranda, M/M, Mild Sexual Content, No Beta On Duty, Panic Attacks, Soft Doms are Doms too fight me about it, no beta we die like men, soft dom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-25
Updated: 2019-08-25
Packaged: 2020-09-26 04:36:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20383786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChildOfTheDragon/pseuds/ChildOfTheDragon
Summary: Alex pushes himself past what he can handle.





	Limits

**Author's Note:**

> This story takes place when Alex is like....6 days into being 18, or something; he's 20something when he meets John in FYE. (Fun fact, John should be buying a ring for Lafayette's finger right about now, but that's another story for another time.) I started writing the beginning like a year ago, meant to post it last Halloween, but we were nowhere near the stuff that happens with Benjamin that sets Alex's character development into the fast track of development; and much like LAY, it will probably have an added scene when FYE gets to that point. But I'm kinda sick of looking at it on my computer and sick of banging my head against a flat surface trying to figure out where it was going. It's honestly not supposed to "go" anywhere, it's a companion story to look a little bit into Alex's relationship with Benjamin and examine the more fragile mental state he had back then. Also to give you a better idea of why Alex is going to have some of the responses he has as things start to slap him in the face.

Alex flew from the bus stop at top speed down the sidewalk, his feet splashing in the puddles beneath him as the rain cascaded from the sky. '_Just rain, just rain, just rain_,' his mind chanted, yet still his body raced. He kept his head low, the cowl of his hood held in place with one hand as the other gripped the strap of a backpack that drummed against him with each leaping stride. What would have ordinarily taken him on a five minute walk he cleared in just over a minute, but the momentum of his run did not cease until he slammed against the door he was seeking. Under the cover of an awning he shielded a number pad with one hand and punched in a code with the slightly trembling fingers of the other. A buzzing sound alerted him that the door was unlocked and he quickly pried it open and stepped inside.

A security officer looked up at him with a raised brow. “Did you forget your umbrella there, boy?” he asked.

“Hahaha,” Alex replied and handed over his bag for inspection. “I was running late this morning. My stupid roommate turned off my alarm and didn't think to wake me.” He fidgeted as the backpack was carefully shifted through. “Can we hurry this up, please? I'm already behind schedule.”

“It's gunna take the amount of time it's gunna take,” the guard responded. Alex heaved a frustrated sigh and couldn't contain a full upper body eye roll. “It'll take longer if you try to rush it.”

“I know, I'm sorry, I'm just **really** late today.” Ordinarily Alex had all the time in the world for the security checks. He loved them, they made him feel safe and secure. He needed to feel safe and secure. Taking a breath and forcing himself to let it out slowly he stilled himself. “No, you're right, this is important too.”

The security guard smiled, despite himself. “Put your left hand on the scanner, please.” He waited for Alex to so as he was told and then brought out an iPad and stylus. “Tell you what Alex, if you don't tell anyone I just let you through here today I think we can skip the wand and pat down this once.”

“Really?!” Alex said, almost removing his hand mid scan. “Oh my god, thank you! Thank you so much!!”

“Just sign in when you're done with the scan, alright?”

Alex nodded excitedly, and was quick to scribble his name on the touch screen of the iPad as soon as his hand was free of the scanner. The security guard handed him a key-card and his backpack back and Alex thanked him profusely as he was buzzed through a second door by the guard. He rushed up the short flight of stairs, his wet shoes slipping out from under him once but a death grip on the railing bar saved him from tumbling back down them. He reached the top, tapped the key on it's pad and pushed through to an elegant looking lobby.

“Alexander Lin Hamilton,” a man sitting behind a front desk said. His feet were propped up on the counter and he leaned back almost dangerously in his swivel chair, hands folded behind his head, he wore a casual smile. “You're late.”

“I'm so sorry Mr. Burr, sir,” Alex stated, running up to the desk. “It won't happen again, sir. I promise, sir. I was just—” but his excuses died off as the other waved a hand dismissively and hushed him with a shushing sound.

“Baby, I'm not the one you need to talk to. Save your excuses for Benny, if he even wants to hear them. I suggest you get in there now, before he pulls the plug on your whole session.”

Alex nodded and booked it down the hallway, stopping once he came to a door with the name Benjamin Franklin engraved into a plaque on the door. Alex was about to knock when he noticed a brown paper bag sitting just outside it with his middle name penned delicately on an envelope stapled to keep it shut. He dropped his damp book bag on the ground and picked up the paper bag instead, prying the envelope free and turning it over in his hands to open it.

My Lin,

If you are reading this then I am still awaiting your arrival inside and am willing to continue on with today's scheduled session. However, you should be made aware that I am not pleased to have been kept waiting these some minutes. Do not think this will lessen the amount of time I intend to have you spend with me, though if these scenes are too long for you I would be open to discussing the matter in length after we are done with today's session.

As punishment for your tardiness you will be expected to strip bare of anything and everything you have on now and put on all the items I have selected for you in this bag. You must strip naked of all your current clothes first. You must stand outside my door to change; if anyone is to walk past and see you, you may not look at or speak to them. You will insert the toy I have supplied inside yourself with the lube I have given you and with care. You may not enter until you have adorned everything that I have chosen for you in this bag. Remember that this is a punishment for your tardiness, one we had discussed in our initial negotiations.

If for any reason you are unable or unwilling to perform these tasks you may choose to walk away from my door now. I will, however, expect you to wait for me in the lobby where we can discuss if we should continue the exploration of this relationship or end it with today's session. If this is the route you wish to take, knock twice on my door and I will take care of what I need to do here before I come for you, no more then 15 minutes.

If you should choose to stay, I will kindly warn you that we will be breaking in your punishment box quiet thoroughly today. If you do well, we may break into your reward box correspondingly. But I wish you to know that I am quite disappointed in your blatant disregard for my time, and as such, we will work to remind you why you shouldn't keep me waiting like this going forward.

I eagerly await your arrival on the other side.

Your Loving Dominate,

Benny Frank

Alex peeked in the bag. He saw a sea of black and, bemused, he reached inside to feel around. Pulling out the biggest article of clothing he found it to be a black zentai suit. He sighed a bit dejectedly. It wasn't his first choice of sexy apparel but then he supposed it did make for an interesting punishment.

He threw the suit over his shoulder and looked back in the bag again. He spied a few more things that gave him pause. A ball gag, some cuffs, a toy and bottle of lube. Well, that seemed to leave little room for guesswork as to how he was to enter the room. Something else caught his eye as it shuffled in the bag and Alex reached in to fetch it, pulling out another envelope. The same neat handwriting penned the message on the front of this one as well.

This is an incentive, not a reward.

Popping open the the envelope he fished out a pair of cheeky lace underwear in a deep emerald green shade. He smiled despite himself; it was his favorite color after all.

A strong rumble from outside caused Alex to tense and instinctively look up, though nothing of the sky outside could be seen from where he stood inside the building. The sound of rain beating on the walls of the building grew a little louder. An image of the roof caving in and water pouring in like waves flooded his mind and for a moment he felt paralyzed with fear. Alex took a deep breath and told himself that he was being ridiculous. It was just a thunderstorm. Hurricanes rarely got this far north and even when they did they never had near the amount of strength as the one he'd endured back in the Caribbean. And it was too late into the season for hurricanes anyway. He knew all of this. He'd poured over thirty years worth of reports and data, anything he could have found and read on the matter, anything to give himself reassurance. He was fine. It was fine. The thunder rumbled again.

He shook his head as if that would dislodge his thoughts and put down the bag and it's contents. He had work to do and now was not the time to be letting some fear of a little rain, '_just rain, just rain,_' get in his way. He was still new to this job and this company, and he was eager to impress both his fellow co-workers and new boss. He peeked down the hallway, back toward where he'd come in from but if Mr. Burr was still at his desk Alex couldn't see him. It wouldn't have mattered if he did. Burr was the one who hired him, this was his company after all.

Alex had only just turned 18 four months ago, and he'd been with The Company for a little under two. He was the newest recruit and the youngest, but Burr assured him he'd liked what he'd seen of Alex's work. On an amateur porn site where anyone with an account could post whatever they wanted and working with little more then a simple webcam and his own hands Alex had generated a decent following for himself in just under two years. Of course, he wasn't unaware of how incredibly stupid he'd been to start fondling himself for the internet when he was only sixteen, but he felt he hadn't been given much other choice on the matter. Rent was due, he wanted to eat, the other clerk job he'd had at the time paid peanuts and refused to give him more hours. He'd needed the money. And even though it started as an after school side gig he did for shits and giggles it quickly became a more lucrative endeavor then his day job. At the very least he could say he'd only let people watch him play with himself. It wasn't like he was sleeping around with strangers.

And he was relieved to say he still wasn't doing that. Still, masturbation would only take him so far and he'd intended to grow a bit in this field; his early work aside, he couldn't see anything wrong with deciding to use his body to make money. It was his to do with as he pleased after all. Of course he'd gotten a stray hate comment here and there or some Jesus preacher know-it-all telling him to repent his wicked ways and come to god. Alex didn't put much stock in god. God took his mother away when he was 12. God knew where his father was when he, himself, did not. God ignored his pleas at 14 to not be separated from James, his older brother, when a judge was deciding if a 17 year old who had already sacrificed so much for Alex was ready to be a legal guardian to his sibling. The way Alex saw it, god had done a lot of shit to hurt him in just 18 years of life and he felt like if he was gunna be expected to get on his knees and beg for something from someone with more power then him he should at least be granted something tangible in return. A full belly and a safe place to sleep at night wasn't asking much for sucking a few cocks, and he didn't care what anyone else thought of him for it anyway.

Alex lifted off his hoodie and shirt in one swift motion and tucked them into his backpack, among the books he would need to study from later that evening. He had a science test tomorrow morning and that was the only reason he wasn't in his own studio now for work. Alex had generated a small following yes, but when he transferred over to the company not everyone had followed along to become a customer. In some ways he was back at square one, trying to drum up subscribers and followers. Which could be hard, because he was on the shorter side, with a slender frame, a young looking face and a voice that hadn't changed that much since he was 14. Some people didn't believe him when he told them he was in fact 18 now, and he imagined that was his karma for the last two years. Other people didn't want to hear him insist that he was 18, and he gritted his teeth and tried very hard not to think too hard on why _that_ was. He'd started growing out a goatee just to spite them but it was little more then peach fuzz right now.

As his shoes came off Alex realized his feet hadn't been quick enough to avoid the back splash of running through puddles entirely. The frayed cuffs of his pants were also decently soaked and grungy. Damp was something he could deal with, but he didn't want to subject his textbooks to muddy foot prints. Unsure of what else to do, he tucked his wet socks inside the shoes and went to drop his pants. A whistle from behind made him jump a little and turn around.

The doorway across the hall was open and a topless man in jeans leaned to one side of it, eyeing Alex up and down. “Nice ass,” he said. “You should let me fuck it.”

Alex opened his mouth to reply before remembering the instructions in the letter. He ended up smiling awkwardly and waving a bit in reply, averting his eyes as he did so. The click of cowboy boots approaching him drew his attention again. “What, am I not good enough to speak to?”

He shook his head and pointed at Benjamin's door, thinking for a moment that would explain everything. Burr let his workers set their own hours so, despite the company being small in size, Alex hadn't had a chance to really meet all of his fellow co-workers yet; he didn't know who this was. It then occurred to him, maybe this man also didn't know who Benjamin was and suddenly he wasn't sure about what to do. The man was way too close in his personal space now, and he brushed a stray lock of Alex's hair from his face with a too casual smile. “Well fine, if you don't want to use that mouth to talk to me why don't we put it to better use on my cock instead?”

Alex recoiled and used his arm to force the man away from him with a hard shove and a glare. His cheeks burned. The leering he could handle, hell even the comments usually didn't put him off, but Alex could NOT have someone like this in his space. For fuck's sake he was a human and entitled to a bit of decency, even if they all sucked dick for a living that didn't give someone the right to be crude about it.

“The hell's your problem?” the man shouted at him. “You didn't get in here to have fucking cookies and drink milk, asshole.”

He'd had enough. Instructions be damned, Alex wasn't a pushover. “I'm about to do a scene with someone else, you could maybe have a little respect for that! And sure I didn't come here for milk and cookies but it's pretty damn pious of you to think I'd just love to climb into bed with your skeezy ass, especially with half wit pickup lines like those!”

“Ooooo, I'm sorry, I didn't realized you wanted to be swept off your feet like a common bitch, princess.”

Alex bristled. He was about to fire off a retort when the door behind him opened and the man he was arguing with took a step back. “Charles,” Benjamin's voice was an even calm, “we've discussed this. You aren't allowed to bother my submissives. I do not appreciate the comments you make or the attention you give them.” Alex felt a hand rest gently on his shoulder and he subconsciously turned more toward Benjamin, seeking safety from the man as the attention of the other shifted from staring Alex's naked body down to his Dom.

The man apparently named Charles scoffed. “What, do you own them like slaves or something?”

“If you are that curious as to what goes on behind my doors you are more then welcome to take a step inside and have a look for yourself, as another submissive of course. I always enjoy breaking in new play partners.”

“No way, old man. I don't take it in the ass for anyone. And I'm no one's bitch.”

Benjamin turned to address Alex then. “Take your things into the bathroom and finish preparing yourself there. I with fetch you when I am finished. Understand?”

Alex nodded. “Yes sir, thank you sir,” he said before grabbing the two bags and scurrying into the safety of the studio. Once behind his Dominate, however, he paused to shoot Charles a dirty look and stuck his tongue out at him. Childish? Maybe. But he felt better as he hurried into the adjacent bathroom.

He set his things down and closed the bathroom door behind him. His mood felt a little sour from the exchange and he chastised himself for his part in it. He could have just said hi at least. And even when people were crude to him, he at least tried to stay more composed. Given his line of work he should be a fucking master of that by now. Alex rubbed at his face and shook his head. Now was not the time for this, he didn't _have_ time for this. He had already been late and now he didn't want to keep Benjamin waiting any longer, especially if it would cut into his study time. He tipped the contents of the paper bag out onto the counter and fished for the toy and lube. Alex decided the toy wasn't big enough to warrant prepping himself with his fingers as he usually did and instead just opted to use more lube to compensate for the mild discomfort he'd feel. He poured out a generous amount onto the toy then reached behind himself. Taking deep breaths he tried not to tense as he slid the plug inside himself to it's widest point. It felt uncomfortable and invasive, but he told himself to just get used to it and moved on.

Alex picked up the emerald panties. They had a pouch built into the front for his genitals made out of delicate lace and the entire back wasn't more then a ribbon zigzagged back and forth across it. He carefully slid them up his legs and guided the strings over the base of the toy, positioned them carefully around it, watching himself in the mirror as he did so. His hands trembled some and he told himself it was just his nerves from being late, from the incident outside Ben's room, from being a little harsh on himself. He refused to acknowledge the tiny window in the bathroom, from where he could hear the storm a little more clearly outside. He kept his focus on his reflection and tried rolling his weight around on the heels and balls of his feet, getting a feel for what he could expect to feel some with the toy in his ass.

He was just putting his hands into the zentai suit when there were two swift knocks on the door. Benjamin entered before he could respond for himself however. The older man held his usual calm demeanor as he looked Alex over. “Still not finished, I see. Shall I help you then?” It was posed as a question, but Benjamin wasn't looking for an answer as he motioned for Alex to turn around so he could be zipped up. Alex obliged. The zipper slid up slowly along his spine and stopped just before reaching his neck.

“Ben?” Alex ventured figuring that the no talking rule outlined in his instructions didn't apply now. And even if it did, well, Alex was already getting punished for being late anyway.

“Yes?” his Dominate replied as he pulled out the hair tie that held Alex's brown locks in a ponytail just above the nape of his neck. A pleasant tingle ran down his spine as fingers loosely brushed his hair.

“I'm sorry I was late. Are you mad?”

“I'm a little disappointed, and annoyed that I was kept waiting. But you are hear now. We can discuss the matter afterwards, _Lin_.”

He nodded once to convey that he understood the unspoken warning in Ben's use of his screen name. They were already being recorded. Alex had negotiated to keep his private life out of the spotlight. It wasn't uncommon in the company to have what was known as a screen name, an alias to go by instead of attaching everything he did to his actual name. Benjamin was his own exception, as his screen name was just a short handed version of his real name and he made it clear he didn't really care who knew what he did on the side; “A perk of being 67, you stop caring about how others judge you and just start doing things that make you happy,” he'd told Alex with a smile. Even when Alex had been working by himself he'd gone by Lin Garland. It was a small security measure tho as even with that in place he'd still had to endure seven months of stalking from one of his so-called fans who had found out who he really was. The ordeal had scared him, he almost quit doing porn because of it. If Burr hadn't come into his life when he did....

Mentally, he shook the thoughts away. He was here now, with Benjamin cuffing his hands behind his back. Even if some of his co-workers were going to be jerks the few that he'd worked with thus far were nice and pleasant people. He could trust them, they were doing the same work after all.

“Open your mouth,” Benjamin said and Alex obeyed, allowing the ball gag to be placed. He disliked gags in general, but Ben had explained that punishments couldn't be things that he enjoyed. He didn't have to endure anything he absolutely despised, but at the very least he shouldn't _want_ to be punished, that defeated it's purpose. Punishments were for bad behavior and a gag limited one thing Alex coveted, his ability to say whatever was on his mind at his own discretion. Ben finished buckling the gag behind him and pulled the hood of the suit up over his head, zipping it up carefully, so as not to tangle Alex's hair in the zipper. “There now, how does that feel?”

He hadn't noticed before but now that he was covered Alex realized the suit was made of thicker material. He could feel the weight of Ben's hand on his shoulder but the touch itself felt muted. Figures. Alex favored sensual touch in his foreplay, after all. But the material around his face was thinner and he could breath with ease as well as see some light and shadow even with the facial covering. He felt a little claustrophobic, but he nodded all the same to show he was okay.

“Show me what your green is,” Ben ordered. Alex nodded once and gave thumbs up with both his hands. He didn't need to ask if Benjamin saw it, he trusted his Dominate to pay attention. “Show me what your red is.” Alex tucked his thumbs under his fingers and made a fist of each hand and shook his head once. These were the signals he would use to communicate while his gag was in. “Good boy. Are you ready to proceed?” Again, Alex gave a thumbs up.

Benjamin turned him around and ordered him into the studio space, guiding him to a chair. He had to sit carefully upon it as the toy would be pressed further into him when he did. He felt cuffs wrap around his legs and another set crossed his chest. “Lin, are you aware of how much time has passed while we waited for you to join us this evening?” Alex shrugged his shoulders. He would guess 15 minutes or so, he wasn't exactly watching a clock. “Thirty-five minutes.” Oh. Well, Alex wouldn't have known what to say to that even if he wasn't currently gagged. “That's a significant amount of time to wait, Lin. And a rather liberal amount of time to give me to think of how I might punish you for your tardiness.”

If he hadn't been gagged Alex would have taken the opportunity to say something coy then. He would have said it with a little smile and maybe even wiggled in place to tease that maybe he didn't think so much of being punished. He liked to pull at restraints some and tease even from his position, because what was the point of being tied up if he couldn't fight it a little? Sure, he was learning to like being dominated, but that didn't mean he had to just let it happen to him. The most fun thing about being welcomed into this company was having others to play with now. And he wanted to play, he wanted to engage with them, collaborate with them.

He felt bad he'd been so late. That was, personally, inexcusable and he didn't think there was anything he could have said to alleviate it. Thunder rumbled from somewhere close by and it came sharply into focus that a window was left open behind him. Alex nervously pressed against his restraints. The action itself must have looked enough like his normal behavior as Benjamin continued on.

“The toy I gave you is rather unique, my dear. Remote controlled, of course.” Alex perked as he felt a slight vibration sensation from the toy he was sitting on. “That is it's lowest setting. And this—” Alex bucked some as the vibration jumped to a much more intense stimulation. “—Is it's highest setting.” Benjamin didn't keep the toy on for long and Alex gingerly relaxed back into the chair. “But I thought of an interesting way to help our audience at home feel like they had a little bit of say in how you should be punished. After all, it's not just me you disappointed, Lin. Many were quite dishearten when they tuned in and didn't see you were here. This wasn't supposed to be a solo act and I need you to know if you make an appointment with me you have a responsibility to adhere to that and be on time, understand?” Alex nodded.

“Good. The toy you are in possession of can be controlled by a lot more then my personal remote. It has a wicked little setting where I can hand you off to anyone watching at home and they can decide what to do, within any parameters I may set. They will have real time control for about a minute at a time before the computer randomly selects another viewer and hands control over to them. I think it was rather generous of you to decide to let thirty-five of them have a turn with you, don't you agree?” Alex smirked around his gag, but knew it would go unnoticed under the mask. He nodded all the same and had to give credit to Ben, that was a pretty creative punishment. “Seven sets, five minutes each. We'll start you off on the lower settings first.”

Alex squirmed as he felt the toy come alive inside him again. It wasn't nearly as intense as when Ben had showed him it's highest setting, but he certainly felt it. It creeped down some then went back up, shifting between intensities like a lazy pulse. He moved his hips about, feeling how the toy shifted inside him, what made it put pressure on his prostate and how to alleviate that sensation when he needed. He was almost used to the pulse when the toy's vibration stopped, then resumed on that slightly stronger vibration and stayed there. Alex assumed, correctly so, that's what it felt like when it shifted between viewers. As the intensity stayed the same he had to wonder if they meant to do that or if they just didn't want to play with him. He made a mental note to ask Ben more about the dynamics of this set up afterwards. Again the toy stopped and shifted to a new rhythm, this one more frantic then the first.

Thunder rumbling and the sound of a more heavy downpour of rain made Alex wish he could have asked Benjamin to shut the window first. The noise set him on edge and as they moved into the middle of the toy's range it became hard for Alex to keep still for very long. He felt antsy. He told himself to ignore the rainfall, '_just rain, just rain, just rain_,' and thunder and to just focus on getting through this. He found his mounting anxiety ridiculous, and it only served to get in the way now. Still, with little else to focus on he felt his mind being pulled into memories he'd long since tried to bury.

A hand ran along the back of his shoulders. “Half an hour is quiet a bit of time, isn't it Lin?” Ben asked. “You aren't even ten minutes in yet.” Alex flashed his green signal. “You're also quieter then usual.”

Head tilting back, he breathed deep and pressed his tongue against the ball in his mouth. He couldn't tell if Ben saw it, but he meant it as a joke; of course he was quieter then usual. But they'd played with a gag before, it was actually something Benjamin insisted he get used to before they took to the recording studio, and he was somewhat impressed with the man's attention to little details. Even with a gag in place Alex often had a hard time not expressing himself or trying to talk back. And yes, he'd been quiet the last couple of minutes, too focused on trying to focus.

“Yes, I know there's a ball in your mouth. Are you mad at me for it?” The hand resting on his shoulders pushed his head forward a bit and pet down the back of it. Alex hummed lowly. His hair and the suit made it hard for him to feel the strokes as more then just vague contact with something behind him. He liked the comfort of knowing Ben was there, watching him. He tensed hearing more thunder, but reminded himself that he was safe here. He was new but he trusted Ben and so he flashed a thumbs up to signal he was still okay. He didn't want to push demands anyway. So the window was open, so he could hear the storm. It was just rain, '_just rain, just rain_,' and he would be okay.

The vibrations of the toy narrowed in on a higher intensity and Alex had to arch himself to keep the pressure off his prostate. Whoever was in control now was showing him no mercy. He moaned and bucked a little, for the first time feeling his focus really shift to his situation. “Ahh, I think we found a pattern you like. You know something else that's interesting about this toy, Lin?” The hand behind him left it's post and Alex heard some clicking. “I can save it for later. Or even choose to lock you in on it.”

Alex hoped he wasn't lying. His arousal shot through him with a fevered heat and he felt his penis finally start to take note. He wanted to rub himself. He thought of doing just that, of touching himself, wearing the emerald green panties, sliding his hand up and down his cock, of taking the toy inside him and thrusting it in and out in tune with the beat it was generating. He moaned and tried to buck and just when he was feeling good the vibration stopped and shifted again to something far less intense. He moaned forlornly.

“Now now, you have to let other people have a turn with you.”

Viewers seemed to pick up on what Alex liked though and a few more of them came up with patterns that he would have kissed them for. It was becoming harder to think of this as a punishment except the lack of adequate friction on his cock frustrated him a great deal. He had a feeling it might be a theme. Ben decided to drag out his last five minutes, turning the toy off in between each turn for a minute and forcing him to sit still. Someone thought to just leave Alex on the highest setting at one point and it nearly made him cum. Finally the toy stopped and Ben informed it it was over. Alex's penis still longed to be touched more, frustrated with everyone's lack of attention on it. It was hard and uncomfortable in his suit and he of course couldn't reach it to give himself release.

Benjamin carefully unzipped the hood, peeling it back from Alex's face. Strains of hair clung to his neck and face with sweat. He pressed his face against Ben's hands, longing to show how much he desired touch. Alex loved touch.

“Do you understand how long thirty-five minutes is to wait on someone?” his Dominate asked. Alex nodded and grunted. “Are you going to make me wait on you like that again?” Alex tried to smirk again and raised a brow, his own playfulness peeking through but he shook his head. Even if he'd begun to enjoy this punishment, he didn't think it was practical. Besides, it was rude of him to leave Ben without someone to start his show with. He still felt bad about that. Benjamin kissed his forehead and Alex sighed contently. “Good boy. Now, what else should we do with you?” Ben stepped away from him removing his hands and the contact Alex desired.

A deafening crack resounded in the room and the room plunged into complete darkness.

Alex screamed, or as much as he could scream with a gag in his mouth. His body tensed up and fought hard to get out of his restraints, his head whipped back and forth and he cried, certain he was going to die. The building was collapsing, the hallways were flooding, the lightening and thunder were everywhere and there was nowhere to run where the rain would not find them. He clung to his mother and brother and cried, the sounds of their cries lost in the fury of the storm, and he could barely make out the sounds of his mother's desperate cries to Jesus to protect her and her babies. Salty muddy brine washed over his face with each swell and he choked as the sea tried to drown him. Houses caved in, and whole trees were washed away. The howl of the wind chilled him to the bones and screamed with fury. He clung to his mother and brother, scared the tide would soon wash him away too. He was so little, his hands hurt from holding on, his wrists hurt from his mother's grip, his brother was calling his name and his voice sounded strange, too old for a teenager...

The lightening strike and power outage had been alarming, of course, but both of those things paled in comparison to the immediate reaction Alex had. Even in the pitch dark Benjamin could hear that something was wrong and he rushed back to Alex's side, working at once to take the gag out of his mouth. He meant to ask him what was wrong but once the ball was pulled free he knew it was a moot point. Alex was screaming for his mother, begging her not to let him go, and since she wasn't present in the room Benjamin could only assume Alex was no longer aware of where he was. Still, he called his name, trying to get the young man to reconnect with him, to ground himself in reality, to see that Benjamin was in control and he wouldn't let Alex be harmed.

“What the hell is going on in here?!”

A flashlight waved about in the darkness. “Aaron, get in here,” Benjamin commanded. Already he was on his knees trying to feel in the dark for the restraints around Alex's ankles. “Shine the light here so I can see what I'm doing. And for god's sake, shut the door behind you, this isn't a show anymore!”

“Go into the lobby and wait for me there,” Aaron spoke to the darkness and chatting voices outside, then shut the door and moved closer, training the light on the young man currently strapped to a chair. Benjamin knew the restraints so well he could unbuckle them in his sleep if he had to but the light helped. Alex instinctively folded in on himself as soon as he was free, sobbing and wailing for a mother he didn't have. He covered his head and screamed again as a loud crack of thunder resounded outside. “Oh, I see,” Aaron's voice resounded in the darkness. “He's scared of storms.”

“He didn't tell me that,” Benjamin replied. “Alex, can you hear me son? Alex?”

Light moved across the room and after a moment Benjamin heard the window shut. Before Aaron could speak again, a low humming noise was heard and emergency lighting lit up the floor. “Sounds like Charles got the generator working.”

“Good to know that boy has a use,” Benjamin replied dryly. He brushed aside Alex's hair and started peeling the zipper back, exposing the flesh underneath. Alex shivered and whined but otherwise gave no further indication that he was even aware of his own surroundings. “I imagine you will need to do some damage control with the club downstairs.”

“I will,” Aaron replied. “But my management can handle that for now, my first priority is Alex.”

“No, my first priority is Alex,” Benjamin demanded. “Send me André, I will have him help me move and clean Alex for now. You said he was scared of storms, yes?”

“That's correct.”

“I want to read the file you're keeping on him as well then. I do not like when my subs forgo telling me things.”

“Very well, I'll send it in with André.”

“Thank you.” Footsteps retreated and the door open and closed again, shutting Benjamin in the room with only Alex. He hadn't stopped petting the boy since they'd got him free but he was worried that even now the only thing Alex seemed to be responding to was his own inner turmoil. He could feel the trembles and hear his pitiful whines, but without the conscience feedback of the tormented soul he honestly had no idea if what he was doing was even helping. Still, Alex had expressed a positive desire to be touched when he was in his right mind and Benjamin was betting that it had to help him now. Judging by the way Alex seemed to be calming he'd say he'd hit the nail on the head with that one, but he was also very aware that is was lucky guess.

Benjamin sighed, knowing all he could do for now was the best he could manage and hopefully it wouldn't fuck Alex up anymore then he already was.

* * *

A soft flickering light danced on the walls, casting a soft glow in the dim room. Alex blinked a few times as he watched it, trying to place what caused it. The shuffling of pages caught his attention and he tried to sit up to see where the sound came from. His body felt weak.

“Oh,” came a voice. “You're awake.” He looked up and recognized the bespectacled face before him, but their name momentarily escaped his memory. A hand that was stroking his back came up and pet his head. “How are you feeling?” He grunted some and lowered his head again, resting it on the pectoral of the man beside him. The hand dropped again and pulled a blanket up to his shoulder, tucking him in before it resumed running lazily up and down the length of his back again, this time muffled by the blanket. “Not ready yet,” the man said. “Okay son, take your time. We've got no hurry. You're safe here.”

He felt tired but not sleepy. Everything felt sore, his head was foggy. He wasn't sure how he'd gotten here. He wasn't sure where here even was, actually. But he felt safe, safe, safe. He grunted again, testing his voice, some. “Hey,” he said, tilting his head to look up at the other male who kept his arm wrapped around him, “where am I?”

“You're in my spare room, Alexander,” the other replied. His voice was soft. “Can you recall what happened?”

He thought for a moment, trying to think of the last thing he could remember. He was sitting up in his own bed.....looking at his phone....he was late for work....there was a bus ride......a guard.....a crude man.....he wasn't wearing any pants......Alex shifted and reached down between his legs, surprised to find he did have pants and a shirt even. He pushed the covers off himself and rolled onto his back, looking down at the strange garments he was wearing. “These aren't my clothes...”

“You're borrowing them form André, he's another one of my subs,” Benjamin said. “He helped me bathe and dress you, after you suffered a bit of a shock to your system.”

“I thought we agreed not to use tasters?”

“No, no, not that kind of shock, Alex,” Benjamin said with a slight chuckle. “I mean you had a bit of a psychotic break. Do you remember anything about that?”

Alex rubbed at his face and looked back up at the ceiling for a moment, trying to recollect his thoughts. They seemed fuzzy and muffled, and weirdly more like he was watching a movie of himself outside of himself. He remembered walking inside Benjamin's studio, and getting dressed. He remembered being aroused, letting the audience play with him for their amusements. He remembered Benjamin taking his mask off, petting him, talking to him.....Then everything cut out. “I......I don't.....” He shook his head. Nothing seemed out of place to him. He couldn't think of why he would have a breakdown. “No....I really don't....”

“May I ask you why you did not inform me that you were scared of storms?”

A flood of thoughts hit him then, swells of salt water, roaring wind, sleets of rain. He sat up with a little gasp, feeling like he was drowning. He felt arms around his shoulders and blinked, the bedroom space he was actually sitting in coming back into focus with Benjamin petting him and shushing in a soothing way, telling him he was safe. “Hurricane,” he choked out. “Th-there was a hurricane...”

“Do you want to talk about it?” Benjamin's voice asked softly. “You don't have to right now but—”

“I stood in the eye of a hurricane,” Alex said. He felt tears in his eyes but squeezed them shut. “There was so much destruction...I heard screams, and people dying...houses collapsed and the water was so high....I thought I was going to die...” He suppressed a sob with shaking shoulders and felt the other male hug him a little tighter.

“You lost your mother in that terrible storm?”

Alex shook his head. He wiped at his face and opened his eyes, reminding himself he wasn't there anymore and that the memories couldn't hurt him. “She was very sick, before the storm....we were very poor...after, the water was contaminated and we didn't have the means....the means to care for her....we lost our house, it washed away and everything inside....neighbors helped, as much as they could....but she still died a week later...” He wailed and bent forward, sobbing into himself. His chest hurt and whatever tears didn't make it out his eyes turned to snot and dripped from his nose. He covered his face and cried harder, succumbing to the twisted emotions inside him. The grief he felt for his mother's death, the guilt that he couldn't save her, the fear that something as powerfully unstoppable as a hurricane could ruin his life again. His cries drew out into silent moments of pain, broken only by shaking gasps of breath his body forced him to take. “I'm sorry,” he choked out. “God, I'm so sorry...”

The bed shifted as Benjamin got up. Alex waited to ask him to stay, but he knew he must've looked an absolute mess. The thought that he was going to be fired hit him and gave him a new reason to cry, or at the very least Benjamin probably wouldn't want to work with him anymore. The edge of the bed he was closer to shifted and a hand gently started to push him to sit back up again, pulling his hands away carefully. Alex looked up at his Dom, surprised to find him with his own pained look. He pulled a baby wipe from a box on his lap and carefully started wiping at Alex's face. “What are you—”

“Hush,” Benjamin replied in a soft yet commanding tone. “You went through a terrible ordeal. You lost your mother and saw your community destroyed by something that was not your fault and that you had no control over. I can only imagine what that must have been like for you. I can see that it still has an emotional pull, but I'm here to take care of you, Alex.”

He blinked and more tears spilled out. “You're not mad at me?”

“My dear boy, why should I be?”

“I've ruined everything for you today. I was late, I broke down, I probably looked absolutely mental to the viewers....”

“I don't think you have to worry about what the viewers saw. The power cut out right as you did, everything went offline. Aaron is still working on salvaging and fixing what he can. We can ask him to let us review the show before it goes up on the site and we'll decide if it needs to be part of our portfolios or not.”

“Well, I can understand if you don't want to work with me anymore. I'm a mess...”

“Alexander, would you like to continue working with me?”

“Yes!” he eagerly replied. “I mean, I'm so sorry that this all went to shit because of me and I promise, going forward I'll never be late again and I won't have these issues and—”

“Hush,” Benjamin said again, this time pressing two fingers to his sub's lips. “I am more then willing to keep working with you, Alex. But I will be making some demands beyond the set that I expect you to follow if you're to be allowed to play with me, do you understand?”

He nodded. “Yes, I'll do anything, please, just give me another chance.”

“Of course I will,” Benjamin said as he pet Alex's hair softly. He was mildly surprised to note a small look of discomfort cross Alex's face as he did so, because so often did Alex respond warmly to that very particular way of being touched. So he put his hand down and went on, “But we will have to discuss some new ground rules later. You need to rest now, alright?” Alex nodded feeling a small swell of relief in the swirling mass of sorrow and anxiety churning in his chest.

“I'm sorry I messed up,” Alex said, not knowing what else to say.

“You didn't,” Benjamin said with a sigh.

“no....i did....i'm sorry...”

“You deliberately pushed yourself past your own limits and got yourself into a spot of trouble. It happens, but it's not something that you need to be hard on yourself for. And I had a feeling you were going to be that kind of submissive.”

“what does that mean?” Alex asked meekly, dreading the answer.

“It means we're going to have to do some homework getting you to identify your own safety boundaries and recognizing when to communicate full stops; but that is for later.” Benjamin got up and threw away the used wipe. “Is there anything else you need or want right now?” he asked. “Any thing that is going to make you more comfortable to rest?” Alex slowly shook his head and so Benjamin climbed back into his side of the bed and gestured that Alex should come cuddle up to him. Alex shifted to move back to the same position he'd been in when he'd woken up, laying his head on the man's chest and allowed an arm to be wrapped around his back. “Let me know if you need anything.”

He settled into Benjamin's chest with a touch of reluctance. It's not that he hadn't had after care before, but the way he was treated post scenes when he worked with Benjamin felt weird to him. Cuddles and kisses, soft murmurs and warm blankets....it felt almost as if he really cared about Alex. Benjamin had always told him this was customary, that it was important that he be treated this way for both of their benefits, so Alex had just filed it under work obligations and allowed it, but this time felt way different. Blinking around the tears in his eyes, he reached his arms around Benjamin like a child as he sought the comfort he'd never realized he'd been without for so long until just that moment. For the first time it crashed down on him how vulnerable he was, to have broken without realizing it and needing to depend completely on a near stranger to look after him. The realization that Benjamin had cared for him, _really_ cared for him, instead of just brushing him off to the side like Alex was used to whenever he became too much work to handle sent a strong wave of gratitude through him.

And a stronger feeling of fear that he could lose this man.

“Alex?” Ben's voice was gentle as he brushed some of Alex's hair aside. “What's wrong, love?”

“don't leave me,” Alex muttered into Benjamin's chest, his voice muffled by the clump of shirt fabric he pulled toward his face. “please...don't leave me....” He felt arms hug him a little tighter, holding him closer to the warm scent of some unnameable strong body wash he couldn't place and the laundry soap in their clean clothes. He felt and heard the rhythmic beat of Benjamin's heart, and childhood memories long suppressed bubbled to the surface of his mind as he recalled the few times his mother had held him in her arms, the even fewer times he'd had with his own father.

“You're with family now,” Benjamin murmured into Alex's muffled sobs. “Shh, shhh, my dear boy, you're with family now...”

**Author's Note:**

> Gunna start trying a little harder to get some of these freaking companion one shots out. Goal for 2020, finish and post some of the freaking oneshot plot bunnies that keep bouncing around in my head and post them for you all to take and run with. 
> 
> Every time someone says they hate Lafayette I literally open the file that contains his backstory and scream at his shitty mother to stop being so fucking one dimensional and bland. But then....maybe that's the point with her....


End file.
